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Bitter – I can be a pretty bitter person. I’ve felt abandoned for a good portion of my life and when I perceive folks I consider to be close being bad to me, I can quietly hold a grudge for ages. I was really suicidal back when I was living in West Seattle and only a few people ever came to check on me and I am still a little bitter towards those that stopped returning my phone calls and texts when I was actively begging for help. Intellectually I let things go pretty quick, but emotionally I can remain bitter for a long time and I know that impacts my relationships. I was so bitter with my mother that I ended up sending an email to her and her boyfriend telling them that I had given up trying to maintain a relationship with them and to never contact me again, this after a decade of calling, texting, emailing, and only getting a response back once a year at best. They contacted me 6 months later to let me know she was dying and wanted me to drop everything to come to see her. I told them no. I explained my reasons and how I felt abandoned by her for my entire life and that I was not going to drop everything so she could feel better before she died. I was polite about it and told them I wished it hadn’t gotten to that point, but I was firm and did not open any further emails from them. I’m not sure if I am going to regret that decision or not.

Bright – I’m not genius level intelligence, but I’m smart. Every IQ test I was given came back in the 120 range. I pick up on concepts quickly and have always been good at figuring out ways to explain difficult concepts to people in a manner that is understandable. I’m good at spacial relations and applying concepts across differing platforms. I don’t have a ton of book learning, but I know a lot and came by it all ‘honestly’.

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